It's been a rough couple of weeks, and these last few days have been hard. Not with the eating, but with life in general and with trying to get better about the running.
I've experimented with timing, with food, and with running locations, and I am feeling better. Yesterday I ran 5 miles on the Coyote Creek trail in under an hour (which puts me just under a 12-minute mile, which I'm happy about) and while I was tired and hot, I wasn't as physically miserable as I was on Sunday after about the same number of miles. Turns out I run better with a full tummy - no more running in the mornings without having eaten anything for 12 hours. I've been reading about glycogen stores, and "bonking", and other running buzzwords and getting good advice from friends.
Speaking of friends, I have to say, they've been my saving grace during this rather terrible depressed nasty time in my life. Not just at work (I have lots of cool people here in the building with whom I chat) but at Julius Caesar, where a couple of people in particular have really brightened my spirits when I just wanted to sit around in my doldrums and sulk.
I take for granted, sometimes, what a lucky girl I am to have such good people in my life.
A few days ago there was this whole thing on Facebook where an online friend of mine posted a rather vitriolic condemnation of "before pictures", seemingly asserting that women who posted photos of themselves at heavier weights were being hateful or disdainful, not just of themselves but of women who looked like them (she referred to the before photos as "looking like (her)" so it seemed deeply personal). I posted on my own page my response: that I don't hate my before self or anyone who looks like her, and that the only way I've been able to make big changes in my appearance (and continue to strive for it, since I've still got a long, long way to go) was through self-love and self-respect. It got a lot of positive feedback from people, and a lot of supportive messages came my way, which was extremely heartening.
And humbling.
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