I dutifully planned meals for this week, almost all of which involved the slow-cooker which meant I couldn't batch them. GOOD JOB, STUPID. >.< I think this means I need to buy two or three more slow cookers, and a house with a bigger kitchen.
On the plus side, using the slow-cooker (my second-favorite kitchen toy ever, coming in very closely after my ice-cream dasher which I now use so rarely) has saved me from using the oven in my un-air-conditioned apartment in this unbearable heat, which is nice.
Today's lunch is apricot chicken, and dinner is lemon-garlic chicken with green beans and red potatoes (both of which were cooked up slow.) I debated using the potatoes since I tend to lose more weight when I cut carbs, but in the end I went for it because I wanted to see if the recipe worked (and I only put a few potatoes in the container anyway.)
Love's Labour's Lost ended its San Jose run and has been packed away until September. I return to Julius Caesar rehearsals tonight and am having a good time with that one.
The half-marathon running training is going all right (I haven't missed a day yet.) Today's workout is 5 miles, which I'm hoping to do early (on an early lunch break) to beat the worst of the heat. Part of the program is "cross-training" (on Wednesdays) and I'm not 100% sure what that is aside from "exercise that isn't running." Last week I counted all the set schlepping and building as my cross-training, but tomorrow night I may just go to the gym and do the elliptical for a bit, then lift some light weights.
My legs have stopped getting leaner, which makes me sad. I've heard from a few people that running actually bulks up your legs, just from the way your muscles are used, and I don't like that at all. I know spot training for fat loss isn't a real thing, but I'm hoping that as I get better at running long distances (as opposed to sprinting) and building some lean muscles in my lower body (with the weight lifting) that I can slim them down a bit. I'm ok knowing I'll never be "thin" but I still have a lot of shape-changing I can do.
I figured out why my torso now looks ridiculously long compared to a few years ago: the widest part of my "hips" is now a place on the outer side of my thigh (several inches below the level of my actual hip bones). I believe ladies in the 90s called this area the "saddlebags." It's nothing massive but it sticks out and adds to the look of my wide legs. Hopefully the continued exercise and nutrition will improve that a bit.
A few articles of my running costume have arrived from Amazon, including a yellow sparkle skirt and a white "heatgear" running shirt. It's from Under Armour and was made for actual athletes, and I know this is going to sound ridiculous but I felt almost guilty buying it. But whatever, it looks nice on me and is supposed to help pull sweat off me when I'm running and hot, so I'm keeping it.
Is it my birthday yet? I would like some cake.
Tuesday, June 28, 2016
Wednesday, June 22, 2016
The Futility of Numbers (Whole65, Day 41)
I've been trying to remember if I had this issue when I was bigger. If I did, I don't remember it (or I paid as little attention as possible and then blocked it out.)
The issue is the sizes of women's clothing. Particularly, numbered sizes (as opposed to sizes based on inches, which tend to be more universally accurate, or S/M/L which are of course expected to be subject to the brand.)
As I've lost weight and started, timidly, to explore more fun clothing, I have noticed something rather frustrating. The size numbers on women's clothing are so wildly varied as to be utterly pointless.
There is literally no point to assigning a number to a size, unless you are buying every piece of clothing from the same manufacturer.
A couple of my dresses which fit fine now, are a size 12. But the dress I wear in Love's Labour's Lost (which I tried on at the store and bought myself)? Size 6. That's a difference of six sizes (supposedly) and yet both dresses fit me fine. And it's not a matter of the small one stretching; you've seen the photos, if it were stretched much over my belly and ass it would just be one big mess of rolls and I wouldn't be wearing it.
I don't even want to get started on jeans sizes. That, too, is crazy varied. I understand there being a difference in cuts and fits with different jeans, but it's completely silly that a 14 in my DKNY jeans is tighter than a 10 in Levi's. Men's jeans sizes are based on inches (waist and inseam); I don't understand why women's jeans aren't the same way.
And you've likely read about "vanity sizing," where certain brands will label their sizes in lower numbers (e.g. what should be a 10 will be labeled a 6, so a size-10 woman will be...I dunno, flattered into buying it?). I don't think this is the whole problem. I think because it's simply not regulated universally, it will continue to be just as subjective as small/ medium/ large sizing and require women to know their own measurements and check size charts, like I do.
...and then sometimes the size charts are inaccurate. FABULOUS.
It occurred to me to check the dresses Melissa (my coworker and friend) gave me, which fit fine. The majority of them are just "L", which sounds about right given my measurements and the fact that most are from Old Navy (a store I used to frequent, especially in college when I was my smallest and fit into most of their clothes.) I don't mind checking charts and measurements, but it frustrates me that the numbered-sizing system is so completely pointless and still so widely used.
Do I have numbers in mind for the weight I want to lose? Of course - having a hard and fast goal is helpful in making plans and sticking to them. Do I care WTF size is printed on the tag of my dress? NO. Seriously, no one freaking cares about that. I'm not afraid someone will walk up, sneak a peek at the tag on my dress and go "oh never mind, that nice-looking woman I thought was a 10 is actually a 16, GROSS EWW GET ME AWAY FROM HER". Seriously...just...bleh.
I had this flashback to a pair of (size 13) Daisy Duke shorts I bought in 8th grade, with colorful flowers patched onto them, and a red gingham shirt that I'd bought with it. It didn't fit right when I was 13, but later on when I'd lost a little weight in high school it looked fine.
I so rarely wear shorts that I have no idea what size I should be looking for. But part of me wonders if those ones would fit now. They're someplace in a box in my mom's garage. .....I'll report back on my findings.
ANYway. There are candy-colored cupcakes at my office this morning, and a taco truck coming in for lunch, because of course there is. But I had a nice breakfast and I packed my lunch and dinner, and I'm good until after Caesar rehearsal tonight. And then tomorrow's payday, so hooray! More groceries.
TL;DR - my goal for most of this was to be a 6/8 by the end of the weight loss campaign. But that number is becoming more and more meaningless as I learn that women's clothing sizes don't mean anything. And I would like to continue to lose weight and change my shape, even though I can wear (at least one dress in) a size 6.
Ugh. Numbers.
The issue is the sizes of women's clothing. Particularly, numbered sizes (as opposed to sizes based on inches, which tend to be more universally accurate, or S/M/L which are of course expected to be subject to the brand.)
As I've lost weight and started, timidly, to explore more fun clothing, I have noticed something rather frustrating. The size numbers on women's clothing are so wildly varied as to be utterly pointless.
There is literally no point to assigning a number to a size, unless you are buying every piece of clothing from the same manufacturer.
A couple of my dresses which fit fine now, are a size 12. But the dress I wear in Love's Labour's Lost (which I tried on at the store and bought myself)? Size 6. That's a difference of six sizes (supposedly) and yet both dresses fit me fine. And it's not a matter of the small one stretching; you've seen the photos, if it were stretched much over my belly and ass it would just be one big mess of rolls and I wouldn't be wearing it.
I don't even want to get started on jeans sizes. That, too, is crazy varied. I understand there being a difference in cuts and fits with different jeans, but it's completely silly that a 14 in my DKNY jeans is tighter than a 10 in Levi's. Men's jeans sizes are based on inches (waist and inseam); I don't understand why women's jeans aren't the same way.
And you've likely read about "vanity sizing," where certain brands will label their sizes in lower numbers (e.g. what should be a 10 will be labeled a 6, so a size-10 woman will be...I dunno, flattered into buying it?). I don't think this is the whole problem. I think because it's simply not regulated universally, it will continue to be just as subjective as small/ medium/ large sizing and require women to know their own measurements and check size charts, like I do.
...and then sometimes the size charts are inaccurate. FABULOUS.
It occurred to me to check the dresses Melissa (my coworker and friend) gave me, which fit fine. The majority of them are just "L", which sounds about right given my measurements and the fact that most are from Old Navy (a store I used to frequent, especially in college when I was my smallest and fit into most of their clothes.) I don't mind checking charts and measurements, but it frustrates me that the numbered-sizing system is so completely pointless and still so widely used.
Do I have numbers in mind for the weight I want to lose? Of course - having a hard and fast goal is helpful in making plans and sticking to them. Do I care WTF size is printed on the tag of my dress? NO. Seriously, no one freaking cares about that. I'm not afraid someone will walk up, sneak a peek at the tag on my dress and go "oh never mind, that nice-looking woman I thought was a 10 is actually a 16, GROSS EWW GET ME AWAY FROM HER". Seriously...just...bleh.
I had this flashback to a pair of (size 13) Daisy Duke shorts I bought in 8th grade, with colorful flowers patched onto them, and a red gingham shirt that I'd bought with it. It didn't fit right when I was 13, but later on when I'd lost a little weight in high school it looked fine.
I so rarely wear shorts that I have no idea what size I should be looking for. But part of me wonders if those ones would fit now. They're someplace in a box in my mom's garage. .....I'll report back on my findings.
ANYway. There are candy-colored cupcakes at my office this morning, and a taco truck coming in for lunch, because of course there is. But I had a nice breakfast and I packed my lunch and dinner, and I'm good until after Caesar rehearsal tonight. And then tomorrow's payday, so hooray! More groceries.
TL;DR - my goal for most of this was to be a 6/8 by the end of the weight loss campaign. But that number is becoming more and more meaningless as I learn that women's clothing sizes don't mean anything. And I would like to continue to lose weight and change my shape, even though I can wear (at least one dress in) a size 6.
Ugh. Numbers.
Thursday, June 16, 2016
Best-Laid Plans... (Whole65, Day 35)
As of today I'm a Whole30 away from completing this Whole65. So...more than halfway there, with a span of time remaining that's completely doable.
My plans for the rest of the year are jam-packed with craziness. But, as my fitness goals are important to me, I want to make sure I hold myself accountable for them.
We had our first read-through for Julius Caesar last night, and I'm really excited about this production. Tonight, I'm back at the park for performance weekend #2 for Love's Labour's Lost.
Training stuff: because I am completely insane, I signed up for the Disneyland Avengers Super Heroes Half Marathon. I did this primarily to qualify for the Castle to Chateau medal (since Ashley and I are running the Disneyland Paris Half Marathon in September) and also because I want to make sure I continue my running training, even though it seems like running is making my legs bigger instead of smaller (more on that in a bit.) SO! Having completed the Couch to 5K and the 5K to 10K apps, I begin training with the "13.1" (10K to Half) app next week. It's going to be twelve weeks of hell (I assume) and end about a week before I'm scheduled to run the Half in Paris. I didn't start training sooner because I've been in production for Shakespeare in the Park and shuttling between work, rehearsals, performances, etc. and eating all my meals out of Tupperware anyway. Now that Love's Labour's Lost is open and we've kickstarted rehearsals for Julius Caesar, I can better organize my work breaks during the day and run on the Coyote Creek trail behind my office. The 13.1 app includes rest days, run/ walk intervals, days of cross training (which I assume means lifting weights?...I have to look that up) and whatnot so it'll be a little better balanced than the other two, which was mainly about learning to run for 60 minutes straight without quitting or falling over dead.
Food Stuff: in 30 days I'll have completed the Whole65 (and it'll be my 32nd birthday...wow, time flies!). I have planned my WholeSomethings for the rest of the year around trips, holidays, etc:
My plans for the rest of the year are jam-packed with craziness. But, as my fitness goals are important to me, I want to make sure I hold myself accountable for them.
We had our first read-through for Julius Caesar last night, and I'm really excited about this production. Tonight, I'm back at the park for performance weekend #2 for Love's Labour's Lost.
Training stuff: because I am completely insane, I signed up for the Disneyland Avengers Super Heroes Half Marathon. I did this primarily to qualify for the Castle to Chateau medal (since Ashley and I are running the Disneyland Paris Half Marathon in September) and also because I want to make sure I continue my running training, even though it seems like running is making my legs bigger instead of smaller (more on that in a bit.) SO! Having completed the Couch to 5K and the 5K to 10K apps, I begin training with the "13.1" (10K to Half) app next week. It's going to be twelve weeks of hell (I assume) and end about a week before I'm scheduled to run the Half in Paris. I didn't start training sooner because I've been in production for Shakespeare in the Park and shuttling between work, rehearsals, performances, etc. and eating all my meals out of Tupperware anyway. Now that Love's Labour's Lost is open and we've kickstarted rehearsals for Julius Caesar, I can better organize my work breaks during the day and run on the Coyote Creek trail behind my office. The 13.1 app includes rest days, run/ walk intervals, days of cross training (which I assume means lifting weights?...I have to look that up) and whatnot so it'll be a little better balanced than the other two, which was mainly about learning to run for 60 minutes straight without quitting or falling over dead.
Food Stuff: in 30 days I'll have completed the Whole65 (and it'll be my 32nd birthday...wow, time flies!). I have planned my WholeSomethings for the rest of the year around trips, holidays, etc:
- time off: July 17th - August 9th (birthday, opening weekend of Julius Caesar, and a week at the Hard Rock Hotel Vallarta which I won at work - my first time in Mexico *and* my first all-inclusive!
- Whole35: August 10th - September 13th
- time off: September 14th - October 10th (Love's Labour's Lost closing, Disneyland Paris Half Marathon, Ashland Shakespeare Trip)
- Whole30: October 11th - November 9th
- time off: November 10th - November 15th (Disneyland Super Heroes Half Marathon)
- WholeWeek (?Whole8?) November 16th - 23rd
- time off: November 24th - 25th (Thanksgiving and Black Friday)
- Whole28(?) November 26th - December 23rd
- time off: December 24th - 31st (Christmas and New Year's)
The last two, I'm not entirely sure about timing. I don't like having a round 5 or 0 to end on, but the name of the game is mainly to be on-plan as much as possible while still allowing for time eating whatever. This would make my August - December a total of 101 days on plan. Combine that with the plans I'll have already completed (Whole65 plus a Whole50 and a Mostly50), and that would put me at 266 days on for 2016. This is troubling, since last year I was 300 days on.
Perhaps, then, adding a Whole10 (July 20-29) between my birthday and JC's opening; extending the Whole35 to a Whole40 (August 9th - September 17th) and then keeping Thanksgiving on-plan (like I did in 2015) and turning the WholeWeek, planned time off, and Whole28 into a Whole40 (November 15th - December 24th).
That would look like this:
- Whole10: July 20th - 29th
- time off: Opening weekend of Julius Caesar & a week at HRH Vallarta
- Whole40: August 9th - September 17th
- time off: Love's Labour's Lost closing, Disneyland Paris Half Marathon, Ashland Trip
- Whole30: October 11th - November 9th
- time off: Disneyland Super Heroes Half Marathon
- Whole40: November 15th - December 23rd
- time off: Christmas and New Year's Eve
This would total 120 days on, which when combined with the 165 I'll have already completed put me at 285. This is still drawing back from last year, so it's not ideal; however, I have increased my exercise and this year has been show heavy and travel-heavy. I will see where my weight and fitness are at the end of the year, and plan accordingly for 2017.
Friday, June 10, 2016
Woman in Black (Whole65, Day 29)
Tonight, Love's Labour's Lost finally opens. it's not perfect, but it's fun, and it's full of people I love, so I am happy and excited to share it with people.
We got a sample of the production photos (taken by the incredible theatre photographer Evelyn Huynh) from tech week last night, and I threw a few of them onto Facebook for publicity.
I find, even though I'm mostly happy with how I look in photos and how it reflects my progress in my fitness, my eyes are still immediately drawn to areas I want to improve...specifically, areas I still want to slim down. More often than not, with this costume, it's my belly and my legs.
In the photos below, I'm the one all in black.
 |
| I don't even want to think about how this would look without the Spanx tights I'm wearing. |
 |
| This one I cropped to show just my upper body and made it my FB profile pic. |
 |
| I didn't even see how cute our faces looked, at first. All I saw was my underwear lines and my gut. |
 |
| My counterpart (the actor playing Ferdinand) is so flippin' adorable--wait is that my mic pack or a roll of back fat? :-( |
But seriously, can't I just look at these pictures and go "yeah that scene is so fun" or "I love my sleeves" or "omg look at our faces" without feeling that strange obligatory loathing for the sight of myself through a lens? Am I really that body-negative?
I hate that idea.
Photos aside, I truly am glad to be opening this show tonight, and also to be beginning Julius Caesar rehearsals next week. Tomorrow will be Day 30 of this Whole65 journey and I'm hopeful that by the end of it I'll have lost some more weight and gotten a bit healthier.
I signed up for another half marathon, this one in Disneyland in November. Grant me strength...I should have my head examined.
Monday, June 6, 2016
Kicking Off Tech Week (Whole65, Day 25)
My friend and coworker, who is a petite athletic girl with cool style, was getting rid of a lot of clothing on Friday and offered some to me for free. I was happy (and stunned) to find that the dresses she was offering actually fit. A few of them looked really cute (including the one I'm wearing today). I went to Target and bought a belt and sandals to go with this one...and the belt is a size small.
A size small. I don't wear a size small ANYTHING. Even gloves. I know sizes are all subjective to brands and they're growing more and more meaningless with vanity sizing and whatnot, but it still felt pretty cool to buy a belt in size small (that I'm wearing right now) and have it look nice.
I also bought a swimsuit later in the weekend. It's an all right suit, and the colors are pretty, but I'm mourning the loss of my big boobs.
Did even more meal-prepping yesterday: Salmon and asparagus, chicken and Brussels sprouts, salad, Scotch egg burgers (I didn't have any compliant pork sausage so I used ground beef instead), berries, and all sorts of things. I'll be eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner out of Tupperware all this week in preparation for Love's Labour's Lost opening this Friday. My poor car is chock full of craziness, and I have my Caboodles makeup kit under my desk at work (it'd melt if I left it in the Prius.)
I'm making a promise to myself right now that I won't get down on myself for my tighter-than-tight little black dress of a costume. The show is a big colorful display of poetry and music and comedy; no one's going to be staring at my rolls and wondering why they'd cast someone like me in a romantic role next to a handsome bloke like our King Ferdinand. (And if they are, they're trying very hard to be dickbags and their opinion doesn't matter). I just hope I can dance in it.
40 days until my birthday (already daydreaming about ice cream and booze).
A size small. I don't wear a size small ANYTHING. Even gloves. I know sizes are all subjective to brands and they're growing more and more meaningless with vanity sizing and whatnot, but it still felt pretty cool to buy a belt in size small (that I'm wearing right now) and have it look nice.
I also bought a swimsuit later in the weekend. It's an all right suit, and the colors are pretty, but I'm mourning the loss of my big boobs.
Did even more meal-prepping yesterday: Salmon and asparagus, chicken and Brussels sprouts, salad, Scotch egg burgers (I didn't have any compliant pork sausage so I used ground beef instead), berries, and all sorts of things. I'll be eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner out of Tupperware all this week in preparation for Love's Labour's Lost opening this Friday. My poor car is chock full of craziness, and I have my Caboodles makeup kit under my desk at work (it'd melt if I left it in the Prius.)
I'm making a promise to myself right now that I won't get down on myself for my tighter-than-tight little black dress of a costume. The show is a big colorful display of poetry and music and comedy; no one's going to be staring at my rolls and wondering why they'd cast someone like me in a romantic role next to a handsome bloke like our King Ferdinand. (And if they are, they're trying very hard to be dickbags and their opinion doesn't matter). I just hope I can dance in it.
40 days until my birthday (already daydreaming about ice cream and booze).
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