Leap Day

Disneyland was great. I ate a whole bunch of delicious junk food, including:

• blackened chicken mac and cheese
• countless Browncoats
• a churro
• a salted caramel churro
• a fried chicken sandwich
• popcorn
• strawberry cheesecake
• pizza
• a burger and fries
• my first Manhattan cocktail with drunken cherries (...and my second)
• boozy chocolate truffles
• Diet Coke (out of my new BB8 sippy cup)
• fish tacos
• pillow chocolates at the Grand Californian
• bread pudding
• green apple cheesecake
• ...and a bunch of other yumminess I can't even remember.

I lost 7 lbs (alas not the goal of 9) on Mostly50. And needless to say, I was pretty bloated and feeling gross after a week of awesomeness. Yesterday (Sunday) I spent the day on a truncated master cleanse (I couldn't do that for more than 24 hours) to get rid of the worst of the bloat, and today's Day 0 in a series of 0s before the next Whole50 (leading up to my April 28th trip to Ashland.) Eggs, some spicy beef, and lots of water to try and get the healthiness flowing again.

Today was super busy at work, but I felt good getting everything caught up and checked off my list. I can update more soon, once life isn't so nuts.

I Can Almost Taste It. (Mostly50, Day 47)

This is a long week for a number of reasons.

1. Next week, Panda and I are going to Disneyland. I'm super excited about this trip, which is a belated birthday and Christmas gift to him *and* will include 2 nights at the Grand Californian Hotel. We're both jazzed about that. It'll also be nice to get out of town and away from my computer for a few days and just focus on bumming around the parks, riding rides, and eating junk food which brings me to:
2. Only a few days left of this Mostly50. I have been good about not adding any other non-compliant foods to the Whole30 model (just honey, but trust me it was necessary and it helped). Still, I very much wish I could have had pho and whiskey and all the other food remedies I usually turn to when I'm as sick as I was. There's still some lingering crud in my throat and voice, but nothing I can't work around. I was still able to speak on Saturday, which brings me to:
3. We are supposed to hear back about casting on the Shakespeare season (Love's Labour's Lost, Julius Caesar, and The Three Musketeers) by the end of this week (the date of the 20th was thrown around but I don't know if that's *the* date or just the *latest possible* date. I'm antsy waiting, but there's not much I can do. I've done everything within my control and I just gotta hope they saw something they needed in me! The 20th will also be a full day:
4. I have a film shoot scheduled for early on that day. A friend who does lots of short films has written a comedy and was kind enough to offer me a supporting part in it. I'm really excited to work with this band of people; I've seen a bunch of their shorts and they're really fun. Then, later in the day:
5. My sweet friend Patrick has offered to make me this epic sandwich to celebrate my completion of the Mostly50. He used to be a sandwich artisan at Togo's, and the food he described was positively outrageous-sounding, so naturally between that and the fact that I haven't had a sandwich in well over a month makes me crave this sandwich like....like I don't know what. I am coveting this prospective sandwich right now, you guys. But I should also be ready for Champagne and refreshments because:
6. Later in the evening of the 20th, after the film shoot, my friend Bruce's (feature) film is premiering in San Jose and we're going to get dressed up and go see it! It's a Browncoats fan film (and I LOVE Firefly) so I'm very excited about that. Bruce came to see me in The MoMologues and we'll be working together on The Diary of Anne Frank (I first met him working on A Christmas Carol this past year), and he is just the funniest and most supportive guy, and a good actor too. It'll be fun bragging to everyone that I knew him *before* he was famous/ won all the awards/ went nuts on Jimmy Fallon. Anyway, yay film premier! And then the next day we leave for Disneyland!!

So yeah. Long week. It's a "recovery week" according to my 5K to 10K app; yesterday's run was only 15 minutes and I think tomorrow's interval run is a total of 20 or something. Nothing impossible. I'll be taking a week off from running when I'm on vacation and I'm wondering if I shouldn't repeat the recovery week when I get back, and then move on to the more challenging stuff. I'll ask around.

Please, please let at least some of this extra weight have come off during these 50 days. It's been more challenging than some of the past programs. 

My brain and heart have also been a little all over the place and I don't know if it's hormones or food or being sick or what. I don't like it. I had a bad dream last night and went into the living room (where Panda was watching tv) and just had to curl up next to him for a few minutes to calm my head down.

On that note, I'm making an appointment to see a counselor. Probably when I return from Disneyland.

Come on, week...chug by just a little faster, please...

Learning Curve (Mostly50, Day 40)

Ten days to go.

Yesterday I rushed out of the house to get to work and didn't make myself eggs like I usually do. This was a mistake, especially since I've been lethargic and sick and not leaving the office to go get food like I usually do (I have snacks and tea and stuff here).

I did go for a run. It was only 20 minutes (I started over from the beginning of my last week of workouts), and I was very slow and it felt like I was trying to breathe around a tennis ball lodged in my throat, but I finished and I'm very glad I did it.

It wasn't until fairly late in the afternoon (I had to stay later than usual, for once, since progress is picking up on our next printed piece at work) that I realized I hadn't eaten anything. All day. I'd consumed calories since I had been putting honey and coconut oil in my tea, but that was it. No wonder I felt like garbage.

I had to stop at the grocery store on my way home, and I actually was almost feeling faint by the time I arrived. Needless to say, I crammed a bunch of grapes in my mouth (after washing them, of course) and snacked on those while making chicken and Brussels sprouts, which I then of course ate much too quickly and my belly felt super full.

I won't be making that stupid mistake again. Even if I'm not really hungry at a given time and I eat *less*, I'm going to eat *something*. That weak sick feeling I had last night is not something I want to repeat.

I can speak again but there is still a lot of crud in my throat. I haven't attempted singing since the callback, and I'm being mostly quiet around here. Vitamins, tea, Mucinex, coconut oil and steam are my friends.

This Saturday's callbacks have a *lot* more material for us to prepare. It's intimidating but I'm still excited for them. And I'm even more excited to find out if I'll get to participate in Shakespeare in the Park again this year.

Today is a walking day. Tomorrow I'll attempt another run.

Updates (Mostly50, Day 38)

Happy Sunday. And happy birthday to my sweet friends Anna and Julie.

The voice and throat (and nose and sinuses) are still presenting issues, but I'm dealing with them as best I can. After today's matinee, I'm considering going back on vocal rest for another 5 days. I'm just so tired of all this. I'm sick for 24 hours and have to deal with *weeks* of this bullshit.

All things considered, I am very happy with the work I did at the callback on Saturday. I had fun, I got to read with people I liked, and I feel confident about my performances. Competition is pretty steep for women (it usually is), but I have a good feeling about it. And even if I don't get cast, I'll know it wasn't because I had a bad callback. So that's a good feeling. Fingers crossed. Saturday I have callbacks for the other two shows, and then after another week I should hear about casting (they cast all 3 at once since they're semi-repertory). So. Cautiously hopeful.

I've gotten many compliments on my appearance (mostly about the weight loss) throughout the course of MoMologues performances, last night from someone who'd seen me as recently as Spelling Bee (which was only in September.) That is encouraging, although I do find myself having to stop my brain from panicking about gaining a thousand pounds whilst being sick. I suppose chronic, habitual pessimism doesn't die easily.

I haven't run in over a week. That, too, is causing me panic. :-( Tomorrow I will bring my running things to work so that I can start the last week over... I feel like if I could get back on track with something like that, it would calm me down so much.

Thinking happy thoughts. Happy thoughts. In twelve days I am eating a bourbonzola burger with garlic fries and having the biggest cocktail you ever saw.

Happy thoughts.

The First Amendment. (Mostly50, Day 35)

I've added honey to this Whole50. So technically it's not a Whole50 anymore. I'm still going to complete the 50 days sticking to all other facets of the plan, but I've added honey back in.

My voice went kaput. I need it back. Simple.

So right now I'm drinking tea with honey, sipping coconut water, taking capsules of vitamins C and E, dosing Mucinex every 12 hours, oh and I'm on vocal rest. Not speaking at all until my show tomorrow night.

I'm unhappy about not achieving 50 days of a Whole50. But I think this was a necessary amendment, and if I don't lose any weight in these 50 days that is ok. (It feels like it's not, but it is. It really is.) I need my voice back. I so rarely get hoarse that I forget how much I take my working voice for granted.

I haven't worn my FitBit in days. That, too, is bothering me. Tomorrow, even if I'm still not up to running, I will wear it and go for a long walk. I have this looming panic that I'll wake up on Day 51 and have gained everything back. It makes me want to cry, but I'm too exhausted and sick to even do that. Damn it.

On a nicer note, I was cast in The Diary of Anne Frank, which goes up as a semi-staged reading in April. Rehearsals begin next week.

Immune System Woes (Whole50, Day 32)

Happy February.

How in the crap is it already February? Yeesh.

So, it turns out eating meat and vegetables and fruit and drinking water and coffee and eschewing all your favorite treats doesn't quite keep you from getting sick, which I'll admit has made me disproportionately angry. It's one thing for me not to feel the magical sparkly "OH EM GEE, I feel so super *fabulous* today and my head is clear and I'm super awesome and I'm gonna grab the stars outta the sky, YAAAYY" like some buttholes on the Whole30 forums claim, but it didn't even boost my immune system enough to keep me from getting this nasty fucking headcold over the weekend?

I like to think that perhaps it *did* help, and that this would have been a horrible deathly virus that left me a rotting corpse otherwise. Because the idea that the Whole30 did *nothing* would be a real big disappointment.

Anyway, I was a snot factory at the show all weekend and I felt like walking death. No energy, sore muscles, awful congestion, dry throat, the works. I'm doing a little better today, although still boasting a very runny snuffly nose (and now it is chapped and red, OH HOW PRETTY.)

Needless to say I didn't run on Friday and I'm not planning on running today. I'm thinking I will take it easy this week, and on Friday I'll pick up last Friday's run and move on from there. I'll be a week behind, but it won't shift any of the days, and it'll give me a chance to focus on getting over the cold.

Some good news: I was called back for all three plays in the Shakespeare season I auditioned for, and will be reading for some really fun roles.

Some better news: The first callback, this Saturday, includes singing a Britney Spears song. If you had told 13-year-old me that I would be attending a callback for Shakespeare in the Park, for a play themed after a 1990s pop rock atmosphere, and singing "...Baby One More Time," I'm pretty sure teenage me would have died and gone to heaven.

I just hope my nose, throat, and face have improved by then. Cross your fingers for me.