One Month to the Half (Whole40, Day 15)

In a month I'll be in Paris. I'll run a 5K which I know I can do, and then a Half Marathon. The closest I've come to that so far is ten miles.

Oh, I ran ten miles on Sunday. I'm very pleased with myself about that. It was slow and tiring and I was sore afterwards, but otherwise I felt ok (no flu symptoms, no misery or anger). I listened to some of season 2 of Serial while I ran for about 2 hours and 15 minutes, and was very happy to get the little "you ran 10 miles!" badge on my app.

I need to get new running shoes soon, these ones are pretty beat up.

I auditioned for A Christmas Carol last night. If I'm cast it'll be my third year in a row with it. This year it's a different director (someone I know but with whom I haven't worked before). We'll see what happens.

And some friends and I are talking about signing up for the Hot Chocolate 15K in January. So........we shall see.

Thankful (Whole40, Day 11)

It's been a rough couple of weeks, and these last few days have been hard. Not with the eating, but with life in general and with trying to get better about the running.

I've experimented with timing, with food, and with running locations, and I am feeling better. Yesterday I ran 5 miles on the Coyote Creek trail in under an hour (which puts me just under a 12-minute mile, which I'm happy about) and while I was tired and hot, I wasn't as physically miserable as I was on Sunday after about the same number of miles. Turns out I run better with a full tummy - no more running in the mornings without having eaten anything for 12 hours. I've been reading about glycogen stores, and "bonking", and other running buzzwords and getting good advice from friends.

Speaking of friends, I have to say, they've been my saving grace during this rather terrible depressed nasty time in my life. Not just at work (I have lots of cool people here in the building with whom I chat) but at Julius Caesar, where a couple of people in particular have really brightened my spirits when I just wanted to sit around in my doldrums and sulk.

I take for granted, sometimes, what a lucky girl I am to have such good people in my life.

A few days ago there was this whole thing on Facebook where an online friend of mine posted a rather vitriolic condemnation of "before pictures", seemingly asserting that women who posted photos of themselves at heavier weights were being hateful or disdainful, not just of themselves but of women who looked like them (she referred to the before photos as "looking like (her)" so it seemed deeply personal). I posted on my own page my response: that I don't hate my before self or anyone who looks like her, and that the only way I've been able to make big changes in my appearance (and continue to strive for it, since I've still got a long, long way to go) was through self-love and self-respect. It got a lot of positive feedback from people, and a lot of supportive messages came my way, which was extremely heartening.

And humbling.

Feeling Like Garbage. (Whole40, Day 7)

Sunday's long run was nine miles, and it was just...awful. Some of the slowest, most angry and annoyed plodding and shuffling I've ever done, I felt sick and heavy and exhausted afterwards (almost as though I had the flu), and everything hurt.

Since then I've sought the advice of some friends who are more experienced and confident runners, and have received support and tips that I think will really help. I'm going to experiment with timing, and with eating before and during runs, to see what works best for me.

Then today I went to Target to get some more WholeSomething-friendly snacks for my desk, and I passed a clearance rack that had Bermuda shorts on it. I took them into the changing room to try them on, and they fit fine, except for that annoying butt-gap at the waistband. Does anyone else experience this with pants sometimes? Like, the waistband will lay flat all around the belly area but when it gets to your back (just above your butt) the fabric gaps out, giving everyone behind you and taller than you a clear view of your underwear. Pointless, and super annoying. I was a little miffed, since the shorts looked fine otherwise and I was pleased they fit - then I turned in the mirror and noticed something weird on my knees.

(No, I'm not posting a picture. I considered taking one, but then I found myself almost in tears, so I didn't.)

As a holdover from being heavier I have these weird little pockets of fat on my inner knees, right where the thigh meets the knee joint. I don't like them and I'm hoping with the continued exercise they'll diminish. But typically when I stand up straight they aren't as noticeable.

HOWEVER. Because I was turning and moving in the mirror thanks to the waistband issue in these shorts, I noticed that if my knees were bent (AT ALL) there was this massive crease from my thigh through my knee, almost to my calf. Like a combination of the extra adipose tissue and the slightly looser skin going "HELLO LOOK AT ME PLEASE NOTICE ME".

It's a stupid thing to get upset about. I know this. I'm not proud of it. But seriously - what the fuck, knees?

Immediately my brain began going over all the things I've worn in the last month that end above my knees. SO MANY THINGS. Including one of my costumes for JC, although I take comfort in the fact that I wear heavy-duty support stockings during that show.

Just. I mean. ...really? UGH.

Perhaps my body's getting used to less sugar again, or perhaps I'm PMS-ing really hard. I don't know. But I'm just. Ugh. I feel disgusting.

Thank goodness today's a rest day and I have the evening off. I'm going to try and go to bed early. Sleep helps sometimes.

Throwback Thursday (Whole40, Day 3)

I averaged a twelve-minute mile today, running 6 miles in one hour, twelve minutes, and three seconds. I'm pretty proud of that. 

I went back and checked to see what day I'd started the Couch to 5K. It was October 17, 2015. ...and actually I started a while before that, since I went through multiple attempts to complete that first workout and it took me some time. When I wrote that post I never, ever would have thought I could have run six miles all at once.

The Whole40's going fine so far, although I'm probably overdoing it on coconut water today since I feel so drained and sluggy after my run.

Thank. Goodness. They have showers at my work.

My friend Elizabeth and I have started sending each other awkward workout selfies every day. I don't want to brag too much, but I'm pretty sure I'm winning the awkward photo contest.

Trying (failing) to get a decent angle on the FuelBelt

This one's my favorite (from last night's elliptical workout - I call this outfit "The Purpling")

This one was from today:

SO GLAMOROUS

The longer runs along the Coyote Creek Trail do make for some nice views, though:

Helps distract me from the fact that I'm running

The awkward selfie daily tradition is also helping me get off my ass and continue the workouts and training. Added accountability, I guess. Along with an opportunity to be silly. That always helps.

It feels good to be back on track.

Rebooting (Whole40, Day 2)

Getting started yesterday went fine. I even managed to get out of the house in the late afternoon (after work and a dentist appointment) and go for a run. It feels nice to be back on track with the training. Tonight I want to get to the gym for cross training on the elliptical (if there's a machine available...those things get crowded).

I feel much bigger and more bloated since the start of our vacation, so I'm hoping some of the excess recedes this week (water and whatnot). I'm excited to get back to Julius Caesar on Saturday - we're now officially in rep (Three Musketeers opened the weekend I was away) so I'll be seeing the other show tomorrow night.

Bought a boatload of groceries yesterday and cooked up a bunch of things (going to be doing more cooking tonight, as well.) It feels nice to have the fridge restocked with ready-made meals.

...holy shit I forgot to weigh myself on Day One. DAMN it. Ok well I guess I'll go by my last recorded weight. Damn it, I'm usually better about these things. Whoops.

Home Again, Home Again

Well, we've returned (albeit a day late) from Mexico and I'm back at work today. Body is still trying to regulate itself sleep, mood, and health-wise. Tomorrow begins another Whole40 which I'm sure will help, but today I had a falafel pita for lunch and it was amazingly delicious.

Pretty sure I've gained a bunch of weight. Not sure how much of it is actual fat vs. extreme bloating, but we'll see. Hopefully at the end of 40 days I'll be back on track.

Getting back from Puerto Vallarta was a complete nightmare of a mess of a disaster. It included:

• horrible storm that prevented our incoming plane from landing
• sketchy ground crew avoiding eye contact, giggling nonsense into the PA system, and at one point walking off with a lady's passport without explanation (she eventually screamed until a security officer game around and forced employee to go get her passport and hand it back to her)
• Alaska delaying, and delaying, and delaying the flight (even though they knew it wouldn't be going out), presumably to find everyone a hotel
• Getting the word the flight was (finally) cancelled, then having to walk across the airport, get on a huge crowded bus, go back through customs and immigration, pick up our checked bags (which were soaked through from sitting on the runway in the rain for four hours), then go wait in line at departures for more word
• Getting told we'd have a new flight the next day but no indication what time it would be
• Cab to hotel
• Marriott, which was even nicer than the Hard Rock where Panda and I had stayed the week prior!
• Getting word on Alaska app that flight would be at 12:30 the following day
• Left hotel to get to airport early (arrived around 9AM) only to find that the Alaska counter didn't open for check-ins until 10:30
• And the counters were not marked for any particular airline so no one knew where to wait
• Being sent to farthest gate at terminal
• Seeing that the sign at that gate was, after a few hours, mysteriously changed to represent a Southwest flight to Denver. No announcement, nothing. Panda checked the big monitors and told me a new gate was showing up for our flight, AT THE OTHER END OF THE AIRPORT, to board in ten minutes.
• Getting to the new gate, still no plane.

BUT, when the plane pulled in and the passengers (as miserable as we were since they'd been diverted overnight to Mazatlan) deplaned, and we got on, and the plane took off, I felt better and better by degrees. 

It was such a horribly stressful trip home that it made it hard to focus on the nicer times we'd had during the week, which included:

• Seeing a massive iguana just hanging out on the steps by the pool
• Seeing pelicans, herons, and all sorts of fun birds flying around (I also saw a pelican dive straight down into the ocean after the fish, that was cool)
• A couple's massage which was really nice
• Shopping at the little pulgas on the beach
• A couple of really nice restaurants at the resort (overall the food was just so-so, some good things, some things that were meh or bad, but mostly ok, and there were one or two really REALLY good places)
• Finding a nice necklace for my mom and presents for some friends (and myself)
• Getting a second room (the first one was a total bust) and using the massive bubble bath like 3 times in a day
• Watching the Olympics opening ceremony with the Spanish announcers
• And watching futbol in Spanish - OMG SO FUNNY
• Swimming in the ocean for a few minutes on the last day (I wish I'd done more of that).

I'm sure I'll think of more things as I continue to calm down after the craziness of the trip back. We made it home, we saw my cats, I felt infinitely better. And this morning Romie (smaller of my 2 cats) came and snuggled up next to me and let me hug him while we both slept. That was really nice.

Whole40 begins tomorrow, and I definitely need to get reset on food (and get rid of this brain fog...good food will help!). I ran a few times during vacation but missed my 2 longer runs on Saturday and Sunday because of Travel Hell. Half marathon training continues tomorrow, hopefully in the morning!