Yesterday I wrote a version of the serenity prayer on my notepad as I sat through a boring and pointless meeting at work.
Last night during the ...is historic the right word? It feels like history is going backward... election I cried as my fears and suspicions about the majority of Americans were realized. Growing up and living in a bubble state like California, it's easy to forget the bigotry and willful stupidity that runs rampant through so much of this country.
Yesterday during the day I considered giving myself some grace on this Whole30. After all, 24 hours isn't going to make any kind of a difference in my health and weight loss efforts, and with all this stress it might do me good to be nice to myself.
As I drove home from rehearsal after 10 last night, crying, I decided not to end the Whole30 early. Instead, I will take pride in finishing that task and in fulfilling something I can control. And for a while, at least, it will be about that. This weekend's trip to Disneyland is going to be vastly less fun than it could have been, but I will still attempt to distract myself and enjoy the company of my friends, and complete another task over which I have control (I'm more determined than ever to finish the half marathon.)
I feel sick. I feel humiliated. I feel scared about what this means for women, people of color, and non-Christians in my home country. And this next...however long this is, is going to be very hard for all of us. But my survival tactic is to keep waking up every morning, being a good and supportive person to the people around me, doing my job well, and taking care of myself inside and out. (This will absolutely include some treats tomorrow when the Whole30 is over.)
I am within my own control. And no hateful, mentally incompetent, hideous payaso is going to tell me otherwise.
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