I've been feeling fairly disgusting lately - the eating is going all right, but I haven't been exercising regularly and with the show at night I haven't been wearing makeup to work; after piling the Ben Nye onto my face in the evenings my skin is acting out again, and my hair just feels greasy and nasty no matter what I do, and monthly girl-time has just left me feeling gross and bloated and awful.
My experience this year with A Christmas Carol was vastly different than it was the past two years. Granted, a lot of it probably had to do with my moods and state of mind (which have not been altogether positive in the last few weeks considering my extremely disenchanted revelations about my country and the --continuous, unending, daily-- farcical announcements of who's being brought along in the steaming dumptruck of regress making its way to the White House.) This year's director is much-beloved by many people whom I care about, and respect. This was my first time working with him in any capacity. It's lonesome feeling like I can't vent about the experience at the risk of offending people on the other side of the table (or those who love them.) But it happens sometimes. And I guess it's important - I have been very spoiled on past projects, and not every theatrical experience is going to be great. I knew that, but I'd forgotten it. And my own shitty attitude has not helped matters lately. At least the show is open now. We've had two performances so far, and with tonight, Saturday and Sunday we'll have five under our belts, then two much-needed nights off before starting the second weekend. I have a feeling I'll be feeling much more positive after Sunday's matinee. And I should point out that there are numerous people in this cast who are both incredibly good friends, great performers, and ridiculously funny people to boot. That has been massively helpful.
I haven't bought groceries or batch-cooked in...god, I don't know how long. I've been eating a lot of grocery-store "snack" lunches, and Chipotle salads. It burns through my food budget much faster than I would like. I think, I need to just make a long list, hit the store, and spend an afternoon cooking, but then I look at my calendar and think and when are you planning on doing that, stupid? I feel like I'm booked wall-to-wall.
I *think* I will have time to hit the grocery store tomorrow between my 3:30 end time for the fundraiser where I'm assisting, and my 6:30 call time for A Christmas Carol. I won't have time to actually COOK anything, mind you. But I can at least get the groceries. Then maybe...I don't know, get up early on Sunday before the matinee and try and cook as much as possible? Sunday evening I have rehearsal in Gilroy, so it can't be afterwards. And I really do need to be better about going to bed on time and getting adequate sleep.
Usually when I'm on a WholeSomething my moods are more even-keeled. I wonder if my bitchery has built up an immunity to my nutritious diet, the way bacteria can build up an immunity to certain antibiotics.
Here is a list of things I would like to accomplish in the next week:
- Pack lunches (and dinners when needed) for each workday
- Do a training run on my lunch break each day at work, on the Coyote Creek trail
- Finish at least 2 more books to stay on track for my 2016 reading goal
- Send the director/ producer my bio for The Country House (I'm already several days late on this; I should do it right after I post this blog entry)
- Write the blog entry for the Super Heroes Half
- Write the blog entry for the Turkey Trot 10K
- Order Christmas presents on Amazon
- Stay positive (or at least calm) for the next full weekend of Christmas Carol and resist the temptation to bitch, moan, or snark, even internally
I look at this list and it looks like a lot, but it's not too scary...actually, I feel a little better looking at it and I think I can get this done in a week. Some of it I can do immediately.
Side note before I wrap this up: thank you, thank you, MY HEARTFELT THANKS TO YOU, Kristina of Kristina Running, for recommending the podcast My Dad Wrote a Porno to me. It has provided me big silly loud laughs when I needed them the very most.
Two race recaps on their way. I miss Ambien. I had a huge breakfast-for-lunch and I'm not sorry.
Happy Friday.
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