So much has happened. Life has been upside-down, inside-out and completely fantastic and frightening and wonderful and scary and sad and ...just insane. Absolutely insane.
I have spent 2018 so far not being on a WholeSomething, with the exception of January's traditional Whole30. And it hasn't gone very well. While in general I make healthier choices, the lack of structure has been discouraging and I haven't been great about food, exercise, or (cringe) alcohol. I've definitely overdone it (and enjoyed it immensely) but I know it's not doing me any favors. Some pounds have crept back on, and I already had a lot left to lose.
So I'm getting serious again and making plans, and batch-cooking, and setting up a brand-new FitBit Versa, and setting more goals.
The structure works best for me. I want another transformation. So I'm going to make this happen, and a big part of that is keeping myself honest and writing about it here.
In the last few months, I have gone through some...adventures. But the highlights are:
- Performed in The Laramie Project, one of the two best things I've ever had the privilege to do
- Performed in Distracted, the other one of the two best things. We close tomorrow and it's going to break my heart into pieces when it's over
- Which is why I'm planning to throw myself back into my health and fitness
- Ended my long-term relationship with my boyfriend of eight years (nothing terrible or melodramatic; we've grown apart, I still love him and want the very best for him and want to be his friend and have him in my life)
- Put myself out there for a lot more auditions (which is continuing...)
Beginning on Monday, I will be:
- Starting a Whole70 (I know...it's a long one; basically it'll be 71 days until my 34th birthday so I'll give myself the option to cut loose that day and have cake and Champagne, but the name of the game here is consistency and self-care. And I want results, which takes a big commitment)
- Beginning isotretinoin (aka Accutane). I've been seeing a dermatologist I really like and have been through numerous prescription treatments for my moderate, up-and-down acne since my teens. This is the big guns, and I'm excited and a little anxious
- Exercising (here's where the FitBit will help.) I'm taking classes three days a week, boot-camp-style high intensity interval training. Two days a week I will start running again, since cardio is most necessary to lose as much extra weight as I'd like to (but of course I want to build some stronger muscles and keep my bones safe, hence the HIIT classes). I'm considering using the 5K to 10K app again just to have structure for it, but that would be three days a week of running (thus six days a week of exercising). I don't know how sustainable that would be, but for 70 days I think I could do it. Otherwise, I'll just do a 20-30 minute run, twice a week.
- I only have one more week on my pass for the boot camp class I'm taking now, but I'm going to see about getting another Groupon for a different class or possibly finding a different option at the gym where I'm a member
- Writing. This has helped me a lot, to see progress and vent and all that crazy stuff
- Packing, purging, and organizing (because since the break up, I need to find a new place to live. Which will be an adventure and probably a lot of stress and heartache, because Bay Area housing is fucking insane...)
Which means this weekend, I am:
- Having my last mini-spa-day for a while (can't exfoliate or use face masks on Accutane)
- Eating a few treats (nothing crazy) and possibly having a Manhattan or two
- Closing this play
- Batch-cooking Whole30-friendly foods for the upcoming week or so
- Cottage pie (with mashed cauliflower)
- Crispy chicken with Brussels sprouts
- Braised kale and carrots
- Mexican beef
- Beginning to memorize lines for Much Ado About Nothing (rehearsals begin mid-June and I'll be playing Ursula)
- Getting my head in the game, psyching myself up, and assorted other things
I'm posting here, for myself (and anyone else who might still actually read this thing - thank you!) in order to give myself some additional accountability and motivation.
The name of the game is transformation, and growth. And self-love. This bitch is coming roaring back.
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