Thursday, April 9, 2015

Out of It (Whole45, Day 12)

Something good I've noticed: my nails seem a little bit stronger and are growing a little longer. Granted, I've been taking better care of them in general, but hopefully the food is also helping, because they're not the brittle peeling mess they usually are. My skin's improving by degrees, partially (I think) because I broke down and bought one of those kits at the drugstore with a high dosage of salicylic acid and benzoyl peroxide (pretty much like my teenage years using Clearasil.) I need to get to the doctor to refill my Retin-A prescription for nighttime. Even though it doesn't exactly ward off my nasty skin, it's been great about preventing wrinkles and I wouldn't want to lose the one benefit I've reaped from it. Heh.

Haven't noticed any change in my size, although I'm glad to have added exercise in with the Whole45. Last night I attempted the C25K walk/ run intervals using my iPhone app, and got through the first few intervals fine but after about the halfway mark I couldn't complete it and ended up walking the rest of the route, and home. I had a stitch in my side and my endurance is completely gone. I need to work that back up. Will try again either late tonight or tomorrow morning (tonight I'm house managing so I likely won't have time for anything other than the usual walk.)

The funk has persisted, although it's a little less horrible now. Now it's just a general feeling of detachment that I notice every so often. I daydream a lot (it's kind of the nature of being a tech drone, sitting and staring at my computer screen with my headphones on, and I was always the sort of person to zone out.) This weekend a group of us are going to see The Room in the city, and Tommy Wiseau's going to be there. Part of me's excited (I've been to screenings but never with the filmmaker/ star/ generally-agreed-to-be-completely-insane mascot in attendance) and part of me is stressed out about it. I love my friends but I tend to get this kinetic anxious feeling whenever something like this comes up - it requires we all be on time for things, it requires a trip into a part of SF with which I'm not familiar, Tommy Wiseau could be completely insulted by all the hilarious callbacks people are shouting at his film, all sorts of useless pointless worries. So I've decided to make Saturday night about hanging out with friends. If we're late, if we don't meet Tommy or if we can't find parking and end up skipping the event altogether, it'll still be fun because we'll be hanging out and gossiping and dressed up.

I actually have a red dress. It'll likely fit much better now since I've started to lose weight (I think the last time I wore it was for Jenn and Darryl's wedding, which was a couple of years ago), but I'm tempted to dress like Michelle, who wears a dark top and a skirt and boots in most of her scenes, and see if anyone notices.

Since watching Fanboys I've developed a bit of an unhealthy obsession with Dan Fogler. I can't tell if this is because of his comedic genius, his mastery of stage and screen, the fact that he looks like a big handsome cuddly Imaginary Celebrity Boyfriend or the fact that my brain's basically been cream of wheat for the past few weeks.

I so want it to rain. Not just because we're in a horrible drought. I like the rain. Direct sunlight and I have never been particularly close, but I just love the sound and smell of rain and it can sometimes cheer me up and help me focus. Like a weird sort of seasonal affective disorder.

Petrichor is a beautiful word.

Anyway I guess I've rambled enough for this lunch hour. I'm over 25% finished with Whole45. It really isn't that hard to stick to the food (although it does get kind of boring if you're not motivated to be creative, and I have not been, for a little while) and I believe the exercise is helping overall. Whether or not it contributes to greater results with the weight loss, we'll see. Happy Thursday. Over and out.

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