Who's Afraid? (Whole45, Day 33)

Last night my friend Jen and I went to see "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf" in Los Altos. The actress who played Cecily to my Gwendolen was playing Honey, and I'd heard good things. We weren't disappointed - I thought the production was really well put together and the performers did a great job balancing the lifesaving humor with the crippling depression the piece brings on. The actor playing George is a bit of a local legend (I've seen him around but never met him) and he was really awesome. And Honey was wonderful and funny...that's a really tough character to root for sometimes, but she pulled it off. She's magnetic.

Anyway, since we went on a Wednesday night it was unofficial Actor Night in the house (as is often the case on Wednesdays and Thursdays, when people have the night off). Jen and I saw a ton of people we knew, and we felt very famous. We also took a nice walk around the area and chatted for a while before the play began.

Last night was the first night since getting the FitBit that I didn't get my 10,000 steps in. I'm glad I went out, and I'm glad we did a *little* walking, but I'm eager to get back on track and tonight I'll be taking another nice long walk/ jog while Panda is at rehearsal.

Only 12 more days. And while I'm proud of myself for eating more healthfully and walking, I honestly don't feel any lighter or smaller. I am afraid when I weigh myself on Day 46 I won't have lost any weight or inches at all. Terrified, in fact. Which is another reason I'm eager to walk more, and will be taking a walk during my lunch break today as well. That way I know that if I am still just as fat on Day 46 as I was on Day 1, I will at least have done everything I could to make it different.

Maybe the difference is in my overall (invisible, intangible) health? Maybe like...my blood pressure is more healthy and my cholesterol is down? Both of those have always been pretty normal, and my lipid profile/ triglycerides have been good for years (low carb diets and all). But I need to feel like eating this way, this so-obviously-more-healthy way, has at least improved me SOMEcrazyhow. You know?

And as much as I'm craving treats I'm considering bumping this thing to a Whole50. Just so I can shine on the weigh-in for 5 more days. That's how scared I am.

Yeesh.